In conjunction with the parenting booster classes offered at the Michigan State University, Couple and Family Therapy Clinic additional material for the latest class is below:
Session 3: Values and Freedom
This week we discussed the first way to step toward setting limits. As a reminder, we believe that the best way to start setting limits with children is to start expressing love toward our children. To review the first two sessions click here (for emotion coaching and child-directed play) and here (for attention, praise and routines). Once you have established "routines of love" you are able to start setting limits.
The first step in setting limits is establishing family values. Family values influence the rules that parents set for their children and the expectations they place on their children. Values also influence how parents show and express love toward their children. An important way to discover the values you are currently teaching your children is to do the following exercise in your mind:
A Martian came from her planet and asked if she could follow you around for a day so that she could understand what was important to you. She said she was not interested in knowing your history, culture, or any justification, she simply wanted to watch. She said that she would make herself invisible as to not get in your way. As you go throughout your day, what observations would the Martian Observer make? What would she say you spent most of your time on (you valued the most)?
